Tomorrow night, I am helping with my church’s youth group. It is “movie night” and we are watching Soul Surfer.
Soul Surfer is an AMAZING movie with a strong Biblical message. It is the true account of surfer Bethany Hamilton. She began surfing at a very young age and loved to compete. Raised in a Christian home, she chose at an early age to give her life to Christ. At the age of thirteen, she was surfing off of the Hawaiian island of Kauai. Bethany was attacked by a fourteen foot tiger shark. Her left arm was completely severed.
Bethany survived through several surgeries and substantial blood loss. Despite having to adjust to life with one arm, she got back on a surfboard a month after her traumatic injury. She began to compete again until after one very rough competition when she swore she would never surf again.
God put it on her heart to go with her Youth Group to help tsunami victims in Thailand. While she was there, she began to understand that God was calling her to help others. She began to understand He had given her this challenge as a way to show His glory through the amazing things He could do in her life.
Bethany got back on that surfboard. A year after the shark attack, she took her first National Title. Today, she is an inspiration for others. She embodies the truth of “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)
The first time I watched this movie, I cried nonstop. Bethany Hamilton has an unshakable faith in God and that faith did not waver. She may not have understood why she lost her arm, but she believed God was with her. It was that faith in His absolute love that helped her make it through.
Liv and I watched this movie after an especially trying day this past summer. We had a “drive in” night in my front yard and streamed it online. I am sure that my laptop screen did not do justice to some of the special effects. But, Olivia was glued to the laptop screen for the entire movie. It began to rain a little and instead of going inside, Liv just wanted to get more under the umbrella of the patio set.
After the movie was over, we talked about how God gives us challenges - like He gave Bethany. She could have chosen to never get back up on that surfboard and just give up. Instead, she allowed God to use her to inspire others - and through His grace, she was able to recognize her dream of becoming a pro surfer. I explained God can help us do and achieve anything. We had a really amazing conversation about some of the challenges she and I are facing right now.
When Liv heard what I was doing tomorrow night, she desperately wanted to be able to go. It is technically her father’s night with her. I told her I would ask her father, but maybe she should ask her father too. I explained that she is getting old enough to talk to her father about things she wants. We have this talk periodically. She never asks her father for anything because she is convinced he will just say no. I told her that I can’t always ask him for things she wants to do. She needs to take the steps to trust her Dad and confide in him the things she wants the way she does with me.
I called her Dad this afternoon to see whether he was picking Liv up from school or from my house when she got off the bus. I also mentioned wanting to talk to him about the movie. He got to my house early and we talked about a bunch of “parenting things” – especially about how well Liv is doing and her tremendous growth. I love when we are able to have conversations and share with each other about how amazing our daughter is. She has so much of each of us in her. Those moments don’t come along very often, but when they do, it’s like water for my soul. One of my deepest desires is to one day have more children and share the joy of those children with my husband. I never got to do that with Liv’s Dad because he left the week she was born.
When Liv got off the bus, she saw us talking. Her face lit up. I love seeing that too. She was so happy to be able to tell both of us at the same time that she scored a 96% on her social studies test.
Her Dad said it was fine for Liv to stay tomorrow night before she got off the bus.
Her Dad came into the house so Liv could show him some of the schoolwork she has chosen to keep in our “special pile” here. We all talked for a little bit. Then Liv said “Mommy, did you ask Daddy about the movie?” I looked at Dan and said “Nope. Why don’t you ask him?” There have been so many times in the past where Liv will stand silent and just not ask him what she wants. Or, she will say “No, can you, please?”
Today, without missing a beat, she told her Dad exactly what she wanted to do. She told him why she wanted to do it and all about the movie – and how much she learned about God by watching it. She asked his permission to stay tomorrow night with a tremendous amount of respect. Her father said that she could and she just beamed from ear to ear. I have NEVER seen her speak to her father with as much confidence and passion about something she wanted. Her father then told her why he said yes. He told her how proud we are of how hard she has been working. He explained to her that she earns privileges when she makes good choices and works hard. He explained to her that he was not just “letting her stay.” He said she had EARNED the movie night.
As I watched this transpire with awe, I felt a tremendous wave of gratitude flow over me. I cannot believe the changes in my daughter in the month since she has been in school. Her teacher has commented on it to me as well. (Liv had the same teacher last year.)
Her Dad and I talked about how this is happening partially because I am home with her now. He gets out of work in the early afternoons because he goes in before she wakes up. But, Liv is with me for more of the school week. I am with her every morning. She always has a parent home for her in the afternoon now. She no longer has to go to daycare. I am no longer rushing home from work, and trying to get everything done for the evening. I am no longer worried about what everyone else needs from me – only what she needs from me.
Gifts don’t have to come wrapped in pretty bows and shiny paper. Sometimes the most important gifts in life come in moments I had this afternoon. I have been “running on empty” so much lately. God knew exactly how to “fill me” back up again.
You are very very lucky that you can still communicate with Olivia's father about his daughter. My ex abandonned all responsibility for his two daughters when they were 10 and 8, and has never seen them since ( or contributed anything to their upkeep from that time). They had to grow up knowing their father had no interest in them. Despite that, they grew into mature and independent women, thank God!
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